Dreams

I woke up from the dream today crying.
It had been years since that has happened.
As a child I always woke up that way.

Last night I was in my zone, a writers dream, alone by the fire working on a new book, until 5am. Those moments are gold. A gift.

In the dream, which startled me awake at 9a, someone knocked on my door and handed me an envelope. On the front was the handwriting of my father. The one who raised me. Roger Earl Kling – it said on the envelope.
It was exactly his handwriting, which is so interesting now, awake, recalling it. His handwriting was so unique. Square abstract edges. Nothing round about it. I knew that this was a letter to me that he intended me to read after he died.

Sometimes dreams are just dreams.
And sometimes they’re more
It actually kind of bugs me when someone tries to place their earthly wisdom on mine.

I’ve been writing a letter a day to my kids for that very purpose. And I have them in a private place, a blog. This desire stemmed from my own biological father, who shot himself when I was seven. I had always dreamt that perhaps he left me a letter. But he didn’t.

See, I know the significance of my dream.

It’s the same dream I had in the day light, when I daydreamed all those years as a child that I’d find my father again, or his letter. Subconsciously it’s about unrequited love.

Don’t place too much emphasis on dreams.
But do. Write them down. Ask for truth and how it applies to your own life, and move on.

If I focused on unrequited love and chasing the things I didn’t have, I’d be like a lot of the homeless people and also some other humans I know: homeless in my heart.

But I’m not.

I’m honored to remember my father(s) today, but I’m leaving my legacy, of love.

Don’t be homeless in your heart.

Don’t chase the things you can’t have by looking back, and mourning unattainable mysteries. Take your lessons, weave them into your legacy and move on.

Dream new dreams.

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2 thoughts on “Dreams

  1. Tammy, it was interesting to read this article. I am glad that you are embrace the loss of the Father that raised you as well as the tragic loss of your biological Father. You are able to put these events into perspective and use them to help raise your sons today…..and fine sons they are turning out to be!!
    I am also in awe of your ability to diligently journal about things like your dreams.

    Like

  2. A great post with that instantly hooked my attention, however I am left with a hurting heart. My heart is heavy and I can feel it hanging like a stone in my chest. I want to burst into tears. The burden of words left behind is a job well worth taking. When people we love leave our life’s forever, a word from them would be great. Maybe in 200 years, none of our words will matter. 🙂 But in the next 20, they could mean everything. Type on. It matters.

    Like

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