24 July, 2017 11:31

It occurred to me whilst running yesterday that there’s a correlation between stress taking its toll on mental breakdown and the break up of a relationship. Breakup = breakdown.

The second thought that occurred is that it didn’t seem to matter the origin of the loss, (who broke up with whom) but the loss itself.

Could it be that two, even if broken, are better than one?

As I ran I pondered an elderly man I knew whose wife left him over a financial argument. They loved each other but she divorced him. He didn’t protest and continued on. Both had been funny, strong, and mentally sharp the last time I saw them. They remained friends, each other’s love, yet she moved, to be near the grandkids and last I heard both had declined into a state of chaotic dementia. The man often didn’t recognize where he was, and couldn’t be alone for any period of time.

In the span of my run, one man’s face popped up along with another and another. People who divorced yet years later were struggling to get by.

Could it be that relationship – is the one thing to fight for above perfection or whose right or wrong? When it comes to sanity, I see many unraveling before my eyes, from the murky depths of bad decisions.

The man who divorced his wife and kids to make a choice to live with another woman, blaming it on his wife’s alcoholism.

But after a year, the other woman found someone else. His texts to my husband are sadly incoherent, filled with pity and self focus, depicting someone wallowing in the stench of bad decisions. He complains endlessly about the world and how different he is from everyone else. He sends images of his daughters sad texts, where she tells him he’s self focused and not at all concerned about her or their family.
Could it be that the family, is better and stronger than One?

Isolation is a tool of the enemy.
Don’t be deceived into thinking alone ness is more valuable than the mess, clutter, inconsistencies, and colorful drama of a family.

My boys had a conference last week and told me they learned a powerful concept.

Wrong voices
Wrong choices.

By mile 2 of my run I had remembered 5 people who left their spouses. Some men, some women.

One thing I noticed in all of these people’s lives in the years prior when they were pondering it was – someone else.

Maybe not a member of the opposite sex – but someone else. A divorced friend, asking them to go out for drinks night after night, or texting advice. A single colleague at work. The singles boat party at the lake. Yet years later none of that helped put the pieces back together.

Wrong voices, wrong choices.

There’s a saying in life and business – that what you focus on is what you’ll get. Spend time with divorced people and you’ll likely be divorced. When you have a problem, where you put your energy matters. If you escape, you get pulled farther and farther away. If you focus inward, on the problem it’s much more likely the problem can be solved.

Here’s the first basic truth:
Life can be a struggle.

So if you’re struggling through something, struggle more.

Push through until there’s a breakthrough.

Unless you’re abused, shift your focus back to the two of you. To family. Finish what you started.

Consider for a moment the supernatural power of family.

Sure, there’s lots of choices in this world.
But give yourself a chance to be all in.

It may be a mess but it’s your mess.

I’m a writer, and every good story or movie plot has a tangled conflict that needs to be untangled. Batman, Ironman, Bourne Identity. You can’t have a hero without a crisis and no crisis is too big to conquer.

It’s in the struggle of straightening it out, that we find strength.

Eliminate outside voices. (Proverb 4:23) Guard your heart.

It might just be the best mental health decision you’ve ever made.

To your legacy,

T

Tammy Kling

Ceo
OnFire Books Leadership Company
214-914-8848

Www.onfirebookswritingcompany.com
We equip world-changers

Tammy Kling TEDx Talk “Words are currency”

As featured on the Discovery Channel, Wall Street Journal, Oprah and Huffington Post;
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6155014

2

Tammy Kling

Ceo
OnFire Books Leadership Company
214-914-8848

Www.onfirebookswritingcompany.com
We equip world-changers

Tammy Kling TEDx Talk “Words are currency”

As featured on the Discovery Channel, Wall Street Journal, Oprah and Huffington Post;
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6155014

3

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